Give Yourself the Gift of Self-Efficacy and Watch Your Dreams Become Realities

This is a guest post by my friend Ariel Curry, an amazing book coach and all-around great human. I asked her to write about self-efficacy after hearing her speak on the topic because it put words to so much of what I’ve seen to be true as a teacher. While Ariel writes specifically for writers, this concept applies to everyone in any endeavor. I trust you’ll enjoy it!

So many things feel outside of our control, especially in the last few years. Wars, pandemics, hurricanes, Zoom schooling, inflation, recession. It’s enough to make all of us shrug our shoulders and just be thankful that we made it through another year.

And yet… underneath the narrative of powerlessness and capitulation, I have seen so many people exhibiting incredible strength, perseverance, and determination this year. In my work as a book coach, I have seen writers who have been quietly devoted to improving their craft, choosing to show up and do the work they need to in order to accomplish their dreams. 

Take Loren, who told me emphatically six months ago that she was not a writer, but who is finishing a book proposal and sample chapters. Little bit by little bit, she tackled each piece of her proposal, letting her successes build up until she could avoid the truth no more—she’s a writer now. 

And look at Audrianna, who has found momentum and encouragement in joining a group of writers and feels the power of community in moving her toward her own goals. With the confidence and accountability of her writing sisters behind her, she is preparing to send her message out into the world.

Then there’s Rachel, who has chosen models to carefully follow and derive inspiration from. She learns from the way they’ve honed their craft and shared their stories and lets their success propel her onto her own. 

Mindy has experienced an emotional rollercoaster like none other—separation, new love, business success, and the daily joys and trials of parenting and running a business. And yet she’s taken time for herself, committed to taking care of her body, mind, and soul, and come back to her writing renewed and refreshed. And she’s killing it.

Resistance comes for every writer—and every human—yet these ladies are doing something incredible. Instead of letting the resistance wash over them, they have stayed resolute and true. They know the truth that it’s so easy to sometimes forget:

To an incredible degree, we are the masters of our own fates.

The Power of Self-Efficacy

In my work as a book coach and an editor, I focus on building my authors’ self-efficacy. Self-efficacy is the degree to which you believe you can execute actions to control certain outcomes. The late psychologist Albert Bandura was particularly interested in self-efficacy, and we have him to thank for educating all of us on its power and influence in our lives.

Self-efficacy is the driving force behind the goals we choose to accomplish, the risks we decide to take, and the determination with which we realize our dreams. 

A lack of self-efficacy is usually the reason we fail to keep our New Year’s resolutions. Imagine for a moment that you’ve decided to try going to the gym three times a week as your New Year’s resolution . . . and yet, you know that the only time you’ve consistently gone to the gym was in college when you were crushing on one of the personal trainers there. You don’t have a buddy to go with you, and you’re usually too tired in the margins of your days to convince yourself to leave the house and go somewhere where you’ll have to exert a lot of energy.

How do you think that New Year’s resolution is going to go?

Now imagine this . . . You’ve already been working out twice a week consistently. You have a couple friends who meet you there, and you know that if you don’t show up, they’ll miss you. You see them making progress on their goals, and you know if they can do it, you can do it too. You make sure to get a good night’s sleep the night before and eat an energizing breakfast that morning. And now you decide as a New Year’s resolution to step it up from twice to three times a week at the gym.

How successful do you think you’ll be now?

That confidence and trust you have in your own ability to meet your goals is self-efficacy. It impacts literally everything we set out to do in our lives—from sticking with New Year’s resolutions to hosting your family for the holidays, and yes, even (especially) to accomplishing your writing dreams.

Self-efficacy is often the game-changer. As my friend Kent Sanders said, it’s the missing ingredient to writing, and other, success. 

4 Ways to Increase Your Self-Efficacy

The good news is Albert Bandura didn’t just leave us with this insight and call it a day. His research actually told us how to increase our self-efficacy around anything we want to do. What a gift! It’s a gift we can all give to ourselves this holiday season.

My friends Loren, Audrianna, Rachel, and Mindy are doing it—and you can do it, too. Here’s how:

1. Find your small wins.

Bandura observed that when you experience smaller successes on your way to a big goal, you grow in confidence with each subsequent success. For writers, this means setting small, achievable goals—maybe even just one sentence or paragraph a day at first. One day of meeting your writing goal feels so good that you do it again, and then again, and then a week turns into a month, which turns into two months—and somewhere along the way you realize you’re doing it! You’re writing a book!

That’s what Bandura called mastery experiences. 

2. Learn from people who are just like you.

We don’t just learn from our own successes—we can also learn from seeing people who are like us succeed. This is why I believe in the power of writing groups and why I lead group coaching experiences for writers… because when you see people you can identify with accomplishing something you want to accomplish, it’s easier to believe that you can do it, too! 

This is the power of vicarious experiences.

3. Solicit authentic encouragement from people you trust.

Think of someone who encouraged you in your life. Their belief in you gave you the belief in yourself you needed to finally do the thing you’ve been meaning to do. My husband gave this gift to me when he encouraged me to start rock climbing. I thought there was no way I could climb a mountain… but I believed him when he said I could, so I tried, and I did! 

Me and my husband at the top of El Capitan in Yosemite

That’s social persuasion at its very best.

4. Take care of yourself emotionally and physically. 

You better bet that how we feel physically and emotionally impacts what tasks we take on and how we feel about accomplishing those tasks. It also matters the emotions we bring to the task we’re trying to accomplish. If you feel nervous and tense every time you speak in front of people, you’re not likely to feel as good about it or deliver a compelling speech. But if you reduce your tension around the task and take care of yourself physically and mentally, it’s going to go so much better. 

This is managing our affective states. 

The Gift of Self-Efficacy

So much of what impacts our lives is outside of our control; and yet, we can set ourselves up for success and grow our confidence when we intentionally build our self-efficacy. Whenever you feel discouraged, remember my friends Loren, Audrianna, Rachel and Mindy and the four principles of building self-efficacy. Ask yourself:

• How can I stack up small wins?

• Who could I pursue my goal with so we can encourage each other?

• Who could I ask for trustworthy feedback?

• How can I take better care of myself so that I feel good when I sit down (or stand up) to tackle my goal? 

They might seem like small things, but they can make a huge impact by growing your self-efficacy one tiny step at a time. Before you know it, you’ll be scaling mountains that once seemed insurmountable and—most importantly—approaching your life with a sense of confidence and purpose.

Ariel Curry

Ariel Curry is a writer, editor, and book coach at Ariel Curry Editorial with over 10 years of experience in traditional publishing. For seven of those years, she managed three multi-million dollar publishing lists, acquiring leadership, teaching, and technology books. As an editor, she enjoys brainstorming and outlining new book ideas, bringing clarity and purpose to prose, and helping authors find resilience in their writing journey. When she’s not working on books, you can find Ariel doing yoga, playing piano, beekeeping, or reading with a glass of wine. She lives in Chattanooga, TN, with her husband, two rescue dogs, a kitten, and a beehive. To work with Ariel, visit https://www.arielcurry.com/work-with-me.